The other night Graeme arranged a babysitter and took me out for some dinner. This might sound normal to non-parents: Dinner? Big deal. You don't know. Getting home at night is madness. I don't even know what regular people sans kids do when they get home from work. To a quiet house? A clean one? Do you walk over to the kettle and make yourself a cup of tea? Do you go sit on the couch? Browse through a magazine? Fiddle on your phone? TELL ME OF YOUR ADVENTURES.
We get home at the same time with two toddlers tucked under our arms. Two toddlers, two laptop bags, one handbag, two school bags and two lunch cooler boxes. Most nights, include a few bags of shopping and a rogue shoe / bottle / toys that we'd found in the car. Even getting out the car can take half the night. Once inside, the kids are on a super high from school, friends, games and playing punch-buggy all the way home in the car. Ohmyfreakingosh there are a lot of Beetles in Cape Town.
We get home and the boys scurry off to their rooms / the lounge and it starts with I want juiiiice, I want teaaa pleaaaaaase mommy pleaaaaaaaase can you make me tea. You might not know this yet, but busy boys are always thirsty. You will go through more ceres mix juice, oros and rooibos than you thought possible. Times that by ten. They want more juice than that. One of us starts making supper while the other one gets the boys' bath ready. I cannot stress this enough - I don't know how single moms do this suicide hour. Well, I do and you can do it but man alive your life is so much more convenient and things happen so much faster when you have a team mate or co-parent.
Once the boys are in the bath, I make their rooibos bottles and a snack, get their pj's ready, turn their beds down and get a little movie or cartoon ready for them. Lately this is usually 101 Dalmations or Marie Poppins. One of us finishes up dinner while the other one unpacks the boys' school bags, lunch boxes and makes everyone's lunch for the next day - sandwiches, snacks, juice bottles etc. Getting the boys out the bath, dressed, teeth brushed, dressed and warm is another obstacle because they're so busy laughing, squirming and playing together while you're man-handling their socks on to their feet.
We all have dinner together, then we play a bit in the lounge and chat with the boys. We make a fire lately and daddy and I have a glass of wine while the boys either play with their musical instruments, sing or we read a few books - The Gruffalo and The Rhyming Rabbit are their favourites! Then we make them another set of bottles and one of us will sit with them in their room and watch a bit of a movie with them until they fall asleep - a lot earlier lately, but between 8 and 8:30, sometimes 9pm.
By now Grays and I are buggered. When you're a full time working parent with kids, you sometimes sit down for the first time at 9pm. I don't know what it's like to get home and do whatever I want to do. We have certain duties and tasks to complete like bath, dinner, prep, lunches, cleaning, story, playtime, bed time - it's all a steady routine and believe me when I say that we love our lives. We love the boys and this lifestyle is what makes us happy and gives us pleasure, reward and joy. I can't even remember what my life was like before I had kids - I don't know what I used to do with my time. Everything before them feels so meaningless now.
But sometimes you really just want to walk in to your own house after work, and sit on your own couch and not have to deal with anyone or anything else.
So when I say "Graeme arranged a sitter and we went out" it really is a big deal. I put on some perfume and we were out of there by 6:30pm. We went to dinner. Sushi, salmon roses, wine, drinks. When you have a few hours to play you make them count. Do you even know how much great babysitters (that your kids love) charge an hour? We had such a great little mini party, walked around our neighborhood, popped in to see a completely unknown band that was pretty darn good. It's so much fun to 'party' as a couple. By party I mean we got home around 10:30pm completely tired, but having four hours of just us was magical. Just to skip the whole routine for one night every now and then is really nice.
If you don't do it already: As parents you need to take a little break sometimes and do those little things that you want to do too. I love the boys and I honestly prefer their company over anyone else's but you need to go on little dates with your partner & lovurrr to laugh and be merry together. I just wanted to remember this right now - how I feel today and how much I love being married in this little world that we made. I want to remember it for when things aren't great and I can hop on back here and remember all of these wonderful little moments that are so easy to forget. Thank you for picking me x
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