Noah is talking. It's amazing. His vocabulary is expanding on a daily basis. Especially his swearing.
I really can't blame him or shout at him, because he is sponging in everything that is in his environment, and from his parents, who swear. A lot. Clearly.
He needs to go to school some day and I just know the teachers will call me to fetch my son who won't stop swearing at the other kids and has trained his entire class to say "fuck". As Noah does.
It's embarrassing. He even uses the words in the exact right context.
We were in Game the other morning. It was busy. Noah was playing with the shelf contents and dropped something. We just heard him go "Oooooh SHIT!!!" and we were so embarrassed, Graeme tried to cover it up by saying: "No Noah, you can't um, SIT here". I don't think he convinced anyone. We may as well have had big signs around our necks reading "We are kak parents. Please call Child Services immediately".
The only way that he is going to stop swearing is if Graeme and I stop. Which is hard. When you've had no sleep and it's 6am and one of your children projectile-vomits on you, it's hard to say "Gosh darn it, there's that vomit again. Drat."
No. I am more likely to go "Oh for fuck sake man, shit! I just had a shower. What's wrong with you? Really? Fuck man."
And I'm not one to use fake swear words. I can't say "sherbert" instead of "shit". Really, it sounds stupid. Don't do it.
So I'm going to do what my parents did. I'm going to get a bottle of Tobasco and feed a spoon to every person in this house that swears. Even friends and family. Even me. Make this a no-swearing zone. Although Wasabi will work better I'm sure.
I might be swearing a lot more on this blog now. Just saying. Going to get a little age-restriction symbol for my page and everything.