Is this your first child?

Noah started whining this morning. Even after little piggy AND the mommy-tickle-monster, he was still highly miserable.
He felt a bit hot, so we took his temperature. It read "38.9" (Graeme shouted). I looked as shocked and upset as possible. I have no idea what 38.9 means. Noah has never been sick. I have never looked up "Check if this temperature means that your child is sick". I don't even know how to work the thermometer. It became a part of Noah's toy box over a year ago, -that and the little turtle that measures the bath temperature. Whatever.

So eventually we find a really old bottle of Carpol with maybe 2 spoons left in it. I think we last gave it to Noah when he was teething. Which he probably didn't even need. I think that every parent gets to a point of "He's crying. Must be his teeth. Give him two spoons of Carpol and put him to bed". Even though the child was probably perfectly fine. Eventually the stuff got put away as I was dispensing much too loosely. He made a noise -quick, get the Carpol and put him to bed. Hahaha. Ok wait.

SO we gave him the second-last spoon, which he obviously spat out. Put him in a cold bath. He screamed. Took him out.
I have never had a sick child before. Noah had a blocked nose as a newborn, which lasted one day. So the louder he screamed, the more useless I felt.
So I actually bent his head back and shoved the Carpol down his face and held his jaw closed until he swallowed. By now he was crying (fine, screaming) loudly and was very, very angry at me. I tried to get him in to the bath again and he really just freaked the fuck out. Like I have never been as angry at anything in my life like that child was at the bathtub. I was a little afraid.

So I tried to think like a two year old. I undressed and got in the cold bath, and told him "mommy is bathing, you can't come in" and pretended that I was having a kicking good time. Within 7.5 seconds, he was begging to get in the bath. I sat in the corner, wondering how long cold water takes to get a fever down. Checked him every few minutes. Still boiling. Eventually I sneaked out and he stayed in there a good half hour.

The boys were due for vaccinations today. We got to the clinic and, like good parents, showed our concern about Noah having injections if he has a fever. I mean, obviously I would have preferred to get both boys done and updated at once. It's kinda like taking your dog to the vet for his shots now and then. No wait, it's exactly the same.

The sister/nurse person looked Noah over and turns out he has tonsillitis. Like, they couldn't believe he could even breathe "tonsillitis". Like, how could you let your own offspring get this sick you awful person "tonsillitis". So no shots for Noah, apparently, and we're referred to other people. I looked at her pile of medicine and seriously considered swiping a batch and doing the damn vaccinations myself. I mean really, it's just a fever. Give him the shots god dammit! Ugh.

So off to another doctor we went for the antibiotics. I'm such a stingy person when it comes to doctors. I mean, you pay insane amounts for 5 minutes of their time, and they try prescribe and shoo you out that office so fast. So when I'm there, I'm making sure I'm getting my money's worth. He looks at Noah's throat. Yes, tonsillitis. I'm thinking "thanks genius". Then I start. "What about his weight, is his weight fine? And this cut under his foot -it's taking long to heal. Diabetes, maybe? Look he has the same one on the other foot. And these bags under his eyes -I'm anaemic you know. And and and.." I could just carry on forever. Graeme is by now doing his polite grunts that mean "I have to get back to work, let's take the prescription and run".

Back to the clinic, then pharmacy, we also stopped at the wrong doctor's rooms, and all the time I am on the phone to my medical aid getting reference numbers for claims. Also had to stop at home again to pick up a bottle for Ben who was highly pissed off.
It was a mission and I wasn't coping.

Then, the pharmacist asks me "What are you giving him for fever?"
"I don't know, that strawberry stuff?"
"Is this your first child?"
(!!!!!!!!!!!!!) I hate that question and everything that it insinuates
"No" What the fuck does it have to do with anything? I mean yes, he is my first child, but after that tone of voice, I didn't want to admit to it. I was already feeling inadequate and unorganized.
"You should always have a pain reliever in your house"
"Er um, thanks"

Noah is looking peachy again.
After that mission he isn't allowed to get sick again for at least another two years.