A gathering of thoughts, memories, goals & images from the #bunnyhouse

I've been trying to find my little space in the online world. Also, in my real little world. Things are busy, frantic and exciting. I've set this year aside to accomplish quite a few things and it's all coming together round-about now. To get results you have to put in the not-so-nice part. The saving. Late nights. No chocolate. No booze. No money. Dry skin, headaches, fatigue, self-doubt, guilt. You mostly see the pretty churn on the other side, but you don't see me posting selfies when I've had four hours sleep, my husband and I arguing over things that don't even matter, my boys getting a time-out, me crying on the floor in my room because ANOTHER outfit won't fit me. My blistered, bleeding feet as I try push another km in to my training. You don't see the piles of washing and dishes around our home because our helper hasn't been here for two weeks. Just because you don't see it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. 

I'm having a good night because after months of work, little sacrifices and tough decisions... A little bit more of the good and reward is coming out. I'm feeling positive about a lot of things, namely all the little goals I had set aside for this year. Like...

Travel.

I'm going to New York in August, and the whole family's off to Zambia / Victoria Falls in October. In-between there is loads of local travel to the Cape West Coast, Overberg, Midlands, Durban and the Karoo. We're already looking at Europe for next year, but maybe we'd need another year of saving first. Probably. Okay we're not going to Europe next year.

Business.

Graeme and I both have our own companies, and they're both growing. The dream is to work our little (mine not so little) busy bums off for the next 5 years and get the businesses to a place where we can employ teams to help us look after things a bit. We really want to grow and nurture something special that we can hand over to our boys some day. That's the dream!

Fitness. 

I'm training for the Momentum Cape Times Knysna Forest Half Marathon. The race is in July, and I have the most wonderful coach, Richard Woolrich guiding me. We're working on time, not distance - which is great! So far I can run about 7.4 km before my feet give in to blisters. I was completely lost in Sportsman's Warehouse today and had to buy my first sport's bra. Even the socks are important, apparently. I don't know how to carry water with me while I run, or even how much I'm supposed to drink.. or do you get those waist straps or a camel pack, and do I need one of those lumo orange runners caps? I'm still a bit lost in everything, but all I want to do is run. I never imagined how much I would enjoy this. 

Weight.

A few months ago, I noticed that I'd gained a helluva lot of weight over about a year. I don't know exactly why. Maybe a combination of working from home more often (hello fridge!) and my love for all things pasta... but it just climbed. If you want to make a drastic change to your body, then you need to make a drastic change to your lifestyle. There really is no other way around it. 

I've gone on to a new eating program and I'm super serious about it. No sugar. No alcohol. No carbs. No cheese. No butter. Actually the diet should just be called "NO". 

Day one was hell. I am not going to tell you how amazing and healthy I feel, because I struggled. On day one I burst out crying. I felt sick. I slept half of the day, I went all puffy and the headaches... the nausea. I have come to the conclusion that sugar is basically heroin and if my body reacts that way without it then it CANNOT be good for us. 

(NO PICTURE HERE) (ONLY SADNESS)

Beauty. 

Somewhere in motherhood (everywhere actually) you sort of let yourself go a little bit in some way, or put some things on the back seat (in the boot - on the roof rack - what car even?). All those little things like "I should get my hair done" and "Maybe these callouses aren't normal" or "Am I transitioning in to The Gruffalo?" starts happening to the best of moms. So I've started taking care of myself, buying some make up, went back on to Roacutanne, and even bought box dye the other day so I AM LIKE A CATERPILLAR IN A COCOON RIGHT NOW, YOU GUYS DON'T EVEN KNOW. 

My mom's been teaching me how to do make-up. I'm almost 30. Late start much?

And like most grown girls, I am most importantly and constantly improving my skills (haha skills) as a mother, and nurturing my beautiful little marriage. Today my boys and I just stayed at home, watched movies, played with the bunnies, made lazy lunches and had such a good time just enjoying each others company. That's where I want to be - not online, not on the phone. Tonight I'm really appreciating the little changes that have come about from big decisions that we've made. I'll say it again and I'll say it until you can't stand me anymore: If you don't work hard, you won't get anywhere worth being. And I really love being here.