Two 'personal' days later, and a sort of personal blog post. In that order.

Sometimes I try keep my personal life off my blog at all costs. Sometimes I'm too busy and other times I just want to tell everyone how I feel, until I get distracted by something else. Being a parent doesn't mean that you stop being you. I still need my little 'time-outs' and often I get really over stimulated - the same way babies and toddlers do. The other morning Noah (I love you) started talking at 5:30am, didn't nap and did not stop talking until he fell gloriously asleep at around 8pm. While I put on my best fake smile after 4  (fine 2) hours of this, I do have my limits. My head hurt everywhere, even behind my eyes. 

Wait, this is not a post complaining about kids and their noise. I could start a whole other blog on that. That, and what disgusting little creatures kids can be. How they dunk their toast in orange juice, eat anything they'll find in the folds of their car seat (7 month old bread crusts are totally not fine guys) and stick their hands in the toilet bowl at any given opportunity. I love them so much, those quirky, idiotic, adorable, infuriating, noisy, affectionate and incredibly sweet little boys. 

I'm not going to bore you with all our little problems like Bunny's tummy bugs he brings home from school, or big ones like a marriage that is sometimes hard. Show me a perfect marriage and I'll show you a pair of newly weds, right? It's hard, hard work, but you pick one person and make it work (sometimes) and enjoy the good parts where you can. During the bad parts, you consider some good old pillow smothering or whatever it is that helps you through the bad bits. Do not actually smother your husband with a pillow because they can pick up the traces of feathers in the autopsy and they will find you. I saw it on CSI once guys. See, you learn so much from reading my blog.

Right now I'm trying to simplify everything, for everyone. I've started with little admin things and spring cleaning and declining a lot of mandatory things that aren't really actually mandatory. I have all this free time now. Even a simple thing like shopping for groceries online can free up an entire Saturday morning.  WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME? 

Right now, without getting in to detail - I haven't been myself. I'm not particularly happy or exceptionally sad, I'm just... neutral, but unsatisfied. That's the word I'm after... Unsatisfied. I have so much (everything) to be grateful for, but there's an itchy bit somewhere that I need to scratch. I don't even know what or where it is. I cut a fringe (spoiler alert, it wasn't that). I started going out more, and it wasn't that. I thought... Maybe I should get a dog. Landlord said no. Then I thought cat, but I was like "I don't even like cats". I even considered having another baby, like you could just buy one at the shops and I was like NO TASH YOU WILL NOT FILL A PERSONAL VOID WITH A BABY, you will not be that person. 

So I handed in my resignation at work instead.

And now I'm like. OMG. I quit my job. Why did I do that - what will I do now? What was I thinking?

Let the adventure begin.