The Birth Story Series: Twins via Emergency Cesarean, Lorien Bolus

This birth story is via a friend of mine, Lorien Bolus. She is very witty and smart, you really should follow her on Twitter for a few laughs and insights here: Lola by The Sea I love how honest she is in this post, raw and almost unemotional. She is a very loving and kind mother and loves nothing more than the gorgeous Lily and Vaughn. I just really like how she captured so many little truths in this. It's not all sunshine and magical unicorns guys, not all the time. Over to Lorien! 

I found out I was pregnant because I was extremely nauseous, which I might add was the first and last time I felt nauseous throughout my pregnancy (start hating me now). A friend who was with me at the time suggested I either had sunstroke or was pregnant. The pregnancy test confirmed the latter. I was 22 and terrified.

I didn't have morning sickness during my pregnancy. I did crave cupcakes in a large amount and only from the BP service station near my house. No chalk or sawdust or any of that weird stuff people say they crave. I found out I was having twins when my doctor told me she could hear two heartbeats and upon having an ultrasound I saw them. Two little people. I was 5 months pregnant.

I wanted to have a natural birth thinking that it was the purest way to have a baby. I wanted to feel the labor pains and contractions. lol, none of which I experienced. And for a while I feel like I missed out, but today I'm glad my ladybits are all in perfect order.

So I went in for a checkup at 36weeks and was told that I had to have an emergency c-section because my son hadn't grown since my last checkup and was losing fluid. I called their dad and my best friends  and family who arrived at the hospital with video camera in tow. I wanted to see the WHOLE operation. I was pretty excited to have them out as I had become super uncomfortable sleeping with this beachball strapped to my front.

I was dressed in the backless gown and made sure that I didn't see the anesthetist with the epidural needle. This has been a practice of mine since I was a child. Just don't show me the needle and I'll co-operate. I placed my arms over my doctors shoulders in a limp hug and waited. The epidural was not as painful as I had imagined but a deep, aching cold in my spine. Weird but once those drugs were in my body it was amazing. I felt like I'd peed in my wetsuit. They did a test where they drop water on your arm and see if you can feel it. I was happily numb from round about the chest down. Watching the video now, I laugh at the amount of crap I said. Talking about the popcorn that I ate the night before and complaining about a cut on my finger. Absolute bollocks.

There was a green curtain in front of my face so I couldn't see much of the operation. My doctor talked me through the whole procedure and let me know when she would be applying pressure where she was cutting etc. At one point she pushed down pretty hard and there was some tugging and then out popped a baby. My daughter, Lily, was first as she was facing upwards and a few minutes later they took my son, Vaughn, out by his feet. They both cried immediately and I started to cry. 

My friend with the video camera was also saying over and over 'Such a clever mommy, look at how beautiful they are. Such a clever mommy'. The relief that they were out and the joy of seeing something that had grown inside of me was overwhelming. But after that there was a lot of worry because they both had "stuff" in their windpipes and the doctors put tubes in their noses and I could see them gagging. I couldn't hold them as they were taken into ICU and placed into incubators. I also had to be sewn up. I made sure my friend filmed this whole process too. No one wants my guts all over the nice clean floor.

The healing was long and fraught with pain. The drugs wore off and I had to get injections every 4 hours, which I welcomed. It hurt to cough, sneezing was unbearable. I felt like I was going to explode every time I stood up. Like all my stitches were going to pop right out. They encouraged me to walk as much as possible and I had to wear anti-embolism stockings. I must have looked like Quasimodo all hunched over, afraid to straighten up because of the pain and possibility of popping!

I left in a wheelchair after a few nights in hospital. They only let me see my kids the next day. Being premature, they wouldn't breastfeed so I had to express milk using a pump. I couldn't and I still can't decide if I was happy or sad that they wouldn't breastfeed. They got the milk they needed, didn't matter how. 

Caring for two newborns with a gaping wound in my belly was not all sunshine and rainbows. My bed was wet every night from breast milk and I was pretty bleak. But looking back, the surgery was so clean, you can't even see my scar anymore. They say the risk involved in having twins naturally is so complex. Lily and Vaughn are such epic little people, I'm so blessed to be a mommy. I am grateful that being young and unmarried didn't stop me from accepting this challenge and not wussing out. Life without them just wouldn't be living.