Graeme went away (to Joburg) last weekend. We had a wedding to go to, but with Noah starting school this week, we didn't want to leave the boys with someone for that long right before such a drastic change for him, so daddy went to represent the family.
He was gone by the time we woke up on Saturday morning and I felt how I always feel when I'm a single parent with the boys: Terrified. Knowing that G is completely far away for almost a whole weekend always scares the rabbits out of me. I am bound to get in to a situation that I can't handle on my own - guaranteed.
On Saturday the boys went to conveniently organized play dates for the afternoon. I sat from about twelve noon to one pm not knowing what to do. I just sat on the couch and stared at my phone, sort of urging it "Now what?". I don't remember what I used to do every day before I had Graeme and the boys in my life. Where did I go, who did I talk to, how on earth did I pass the time? I went to the video shop to rent every movie that G always refuses to watch with me. I hired The Notebook and Season 1 of Absolutely Fabulous, picked up some wine, chocolate, jelly beans. I wish I could say that I got loads of junk food, but it just makes me feel sick so I got a take away chicken avo salad and had a little drink while I waited for them to make it. NO SENSE OF URGENCY. I love spending my days with the boys, but I really don't like rushing all the time.
By four o clock I was really, really missing the boys. When they got home, we had dinner then we all got in to mommy's bed and we lay in the dark telling stories about a blue bunny (Noah) and a green bunny (Ben) that escape from the garden and go for a walk in the forest. It's all about a storm and I make owl noises and then the sun comes out and I do my best bumblebee impression and they just love it. I like to tell them my own little made up things. Once they were asleep I got really paranoid. I hate being home alone. Thank you so much to my twitter friends for all the encouraging tweets and messages and love. I only fell asleep at half past three am. This story kind of tells itself.
Sunday morning was perfect. The boys and I cuddled in bed for hours. We talked, made more tea, played, ate cereal, tickled and took a few photos. It was my favourite time as a child too, hanging out and playing in mom and dad's room on weekend mornings. It's so special. Later I put a movie on for them again and busied myself with cleaning the house. About twenty or thirty minutes later, Noah came hurdling down the passage. Guys, he was hysterical. Screaming, having a serious anxiety attack and just terrified. Somewhere along the line, he had stuck a jelly bean up his nose. All the way. Up his nose. I don't know how long he'd been trying to get it out himself.
I couldn't find my plastic tong things in the first aid kit, and it was too far up for tweezers and he was just getting more and more hysterical. Our neighbor Nikki came over to distract Ben so I could focus on Noah, and I phoned a doctor friend of ours for advice. He said to cup my mouth over Noah's mouth and to blow, hard. After about three attempts it came out all slimy and gross but it was out. I cannot tell you how stressed out I was. Noah has never been sick or had any kind of injury, and his reaction had me on ALL my nerves.
We went to the video shop again and got more movies and snacks and then we played in the garden with their cars and chalk boards and drew all afternoon while Ben fed the bunnies. Daddy got home and took the boys to fly a kite that Noah got for Christmas while I made dinner and tidied up. It was a really nice weekend, but I am so glad that Graeme is home. Here are some pictures that the boys and I took with my phone on Saturday morning, before the jelly bean drama. Excuse all the sleepy 'haven't got out of bed yet' faces.
I still can't believe that these boys are all ours to love and play with every day. They're so beautiful and such nice little people with good hearts and ambitious spirits. I love you boys so much. With all my mommy heart!
