Sometimes things are just completely out of your control. Right now, I am so not in control of anything that it is just ridiculous.
I spent the morning queuing for unemployment at the Department of Labor. They punched in my ID number and queried why I was on the system if this is a first application.
"I'm on there for maternity UIF. Now I'm applying for unemployment UIF." They looked me up and down like I was some cowboy con-artist, robbing the good tax paying citizens of South Africa.
"No no no.. you see I got retrenched while on maternity leave"
Every time a coconut, the person paused, stamp mid-air and raised an eyebrow at me. That's my queue to look as pitiful as possible to avoid my paperwork being put on hold pending fraud investigations.
Then they clicked tongues and muttered under their breath in what seemed an angry - slash - sympathetic tone. I think my papers passed. I'm to go back next month with my little docket at which point I will receive more information, they said.
But I'm sick of this, all of this, especially the admin. "Cash flow" issues they said. Yes well maybe they should have been doing their jobs a bit better, then I would still have mine. In the same breath, I don't want to work for a company that really just can't manage its books. It stresses me the f*ck out and I can't wait for the last payment to reflect so I can be done with it.
I'm waiting on other payments, and lawyers who seem a bit unorganized and I feel like I'm in the dark, completely out of control, waiting for papers or a phone call or an email and it saddens me so much that nobody seems to give a shit.
Nobody seems to care about each other anymore. It's depressing.
I don't understand how employers and some parents can "overlook" their commitments.
I wonder how they can buy new cars and go on holidays and actually enjoy it.
It boggles my mind. And I'm glad that I'm not like that. I'm proud to say that I am a good parent and a good employer and that I always put myself absolutely last.
It just boggles my mind.