I am the most impatient person you have ever met. Really. I am. I want everything to happen NOW. When it doesn’t, I get anxious. I get anxious because things are out of my control. And I need to be in control. When I am not, then I go a little nuts.
I go a little nuts at least once a week, but even that I am in control of.
I can’t make decisions. I am very good at telling you what to order on the menu and even how to run your life. But after you’ve placed your order, I sit staring at the menu and I wouldn’t dare tell you the truth on how disorganized my own life is right now.
When I can’t make a big decision or follow through with it, then I either pull an ostrich move and bury my head as deep as it lets me go or I become Switzerland and just don’t do a damn thing.
I have been scurrying between the underground and the Alps for much too long.
I am busy making about 4 moves at once right now. I am being brave, strong Tash. In the next two months, my life will be completely changed and I am excited. I hate this waiting. But I’ve been waiting for almost two years, so what is another few weeks, right?
I used to cling to my comfort zone safety net. Right now, I am so uncomfortable I might actually pass out. My net is gone and I am fucking high above the ground man. There is absolutely nobody to catch me. Nobody. I feel like Linus -minus his shabby blue blanket. But if I take the blanket back then I will never grow up.
Here goes.