Awful.

The 8am call-time came and went and by 9am I came to a realization: The nanny is simply not coming to work today, and I will be spending 10 hours alone with both boys.
Benjamin woke at 5am and only went to sleep at 1:30pm again. That's 8.5 hours of bunny time. I think he sensed my anxiety over the whole situation. Because what do you do when both your kids cry at once? Benjamin is smaller, so I lean toward him, but I don't want to send Noah mixed messages by picking up his brother when he is in distress.
Anyway, it was an awful day. I am exhausted. I am on my third glass of wine. I have no idea if the nanny is coming in tomorrow and I don't even know if I ever want to see her again after today.
Goodnight.